Greetings, all.
It has happened.
We have reached one year with William. :)
It has been a glorious year, and it's hard to think that William has gone from a newborn to a toddling (wobbling?) little boy with a big personality.
I've been reminiscing about "where I was one year ago exactly" and revisiting photos and videos taken on that day back in 2012.
Did I mention that he was born at home too? Just like Ella Rose. But whereas Ella was in an apartment building in a complex of 100 in the suburbs of L.A., William was in our home here in Corvallis. I don't think I could say that one birth was better than the other. They were both complication-free, empowering, enjoyably challenging, and in the midst of family and friends. My twin sis, Kathy, actually got to be there for both and video tape the exact moments of the babies' exits. How special is that?? :D
I also wrote down the birth stories in the days following the events. I'd like to share William's with you here now (watch out, it's lengthy~!)
William Leon’s Birth:
At around 10:30pm on Sunday April 15 2012, I was putting
Ella Rose down to bed for a very late bedtime, and was telling her a story
about “Ella, Ariel, and Ursula” when I felt my first “real” contraction. For
about two weeks I’d been having Braxton Hicks on-and-off, with the most
noteworthy ones being a session of 20-minute-apart ones late at night the day
before Easter (April 7) and one more recently, Friday April 13 at 6 minutes
apart during the evening. All those Braxton Hicks contractions had really been
irritating me because I was so sure there were equivalent to the pangs of early
labor, and therefore I kept being faked out and was afraid that when “real”
labor started, I would do as many second-time moms do and be in denial or not
think it was the real thing.
But no! With the very first real contraction, I remembered
“oh yeah, this is what it feels like!” Whereas Braxton Hicks are just a
tightening of the abdomen, the real deal is something happening much deeper
down. Right in the vagina, is how I’d put it. So in the time it took me to
finish (sloppily) my story to Ella, I had three of these real contractions.
When I was sure she was good and asleep, I slipped out of bed, and went
straight to Dash on the sofa (he was on his DS) and let him know that this was
feeling real. We timed a couple and lo, they were 8 minutes apart and about 1
minutes long. Much like how Ella Rose’s birth began if I recall correctly. Mind
you, these weren’t back-breaking or the type that take your breath away. Just
unique enough for me to have to give due attention too. Another difference from
the Braxton Hicks warm-ups: I was apt to miss a couple out of lack of
concentration as some just slipped past me. But every one of these was worth
taking note of.
So! We went back into the bedroom, and talk about good
timing on my part: I had just written up a list of “things to do when real
labor begins” and stuck it on the stand by the bed. They were things like “turn
the space heater on, start texting folks, get that cardboard box downstairs,
line the bed with waterproof liner”. The waterproof liner is what Dash and I
took care of first, timing contractions all the while. Around midnight, I knew
I was going to drive myself crazy timing every single contraction so I tried to
go the route of Dash and get some shut-eye. Of course, I first made sure to
text a few select folks that I felt would appreciate knowing real labor was
starting. Firstly, Kathy who would need to buy a plane ticket. Also, our
neighbors Brooke & Mac because I had just spoken to them at length earlier
that day about Braxton Hicks vs. real labor and thought they’d appreciate
knowing that the switch had been made. Also, my friend Beth to apologize for
not coming to her house again…but explaining that I had a good excuse: my body
knew I’d be going into labor soon! And lastly, Hari Jot because I had just been
to her Blessingway and acquired some Primrose Oil said to help soften the
cervix. She had assured me that she’d been taking it for weeks and was still
pregnant, but I had just taken my first pill that morning and boom! What do you
know? Real labor.
Anyway, throughout the night, I suppose I got a little bit
of sleep in those 8 minute or so stints between contractions. Nothing that
great though. But of course I was very excited and feeling good by the time the
morning sun was coming into the room. Because of all the stories I’d filled my
head with, I had this fear that labor would stop randomly, so though I wanted
to tell people, I didn’t want to have to “un-tell” them later on. With these
light contractions continuing on into the morning, I was feeling confident that
this was for real, talked flight times with Kathy (she’d be due to arrive
around 3pm) and then went to walk Tak’e. On the walk, I had at least three
contractions where I had to stop and bend over with my hands on my knees to
deal and when I went to the bathroom upon returning, I wiped to discover I had
some “baby goo “ (mucus plug) on the toilet paper! It was 7:30am then, so I
immediately phoned Ellie Rose, the midwife who would be at my birth, to give
her the stats and a heads up that things were progressing. She reminded me to
call again when it felt like “I was working hard” and said she’d be on
stand-by. I then had some yogurt + strawberries (my official birthing food of
choice J )
to break my fast.
Ella Rose had her second Ballet/Tap class scheduled at 9am
and I very much wanted Dash to see how adorable the class was, so together we
all went (by car, boo, but oh well). The entire time, I knitted and alerted
Dash as to contractions which were now about 5 minutes apart. Hurray! More signs of progress! At this
point, I had to stop knitting or assume a squat if I was standing to “deal”
with the contractions, but it really was no big deal and people that I ran into
at the Osborne Center (where the classes were held) were all very surprised to
hear that I was in the early stages of labor right then and there.
Upon arriving back home, Dash got lunch going for Ella and I
called Kae to ask her to come over as planned and watch Ella. She walked over
with Douzen in the stroller and arrived around 11am. Dash engaged the kiddos
with some Mario and Thomas, and Kae and I got to catch up and talk birth
experiences for a while. At this point, the contractions were more like 4 ½
minutes apart and intense enough that when they hit during our conversation, I
had to politely ask her to hold on a second, and rock on my hands and knees
with slow deep breaths to deal. Of course, once they let up I would pop back up
and continue what I was saying.
After about an hour (perhaps?) Dash suggested we retire to
the bedroom and leave the rest of the childcare to Kae. On the bed, Dash tried
a bit of nipple stimulation which we had relied on quite a bit last time to
ramp things up more, but after only two or so more contractions at that same “I
can’t talk right now!” level, I reassured him that we didn’t have to ramp up
anything and all I really wanted was some nice back rubbing and talking to me. He
talked to me in a different couple of ways from reassuring words of how we’d be
meeting our baby and other mushy stuff like that, to a story about a cat which
was pretty goofy and I think I asked him to drop that pronto. While I was still
up on the bed, I took a call from mom who was interested in an update and I had
to stop the conversation to breathe through the contraction with mom
sympathizing on the other end. I think that told her things were serious enough
to probably start alerting other family members.
At one point, Dash left the room and I built up a nice stack
of pillows that became a mainstay for the rest of the labor, but that I soon
moved down onto Ella’s bed while I labored on the carpet. I don’t recall why I
wanted to move there, I think I just needed that firmness beneath me. My
primary position was hands-and-knees with my head/upper body resting on the
pillows as needed. Though things were ramping up, I still had the wherewithal
to text friends that it was commencing and to also happily read texts as they
came in. That was nice.
It’s hard to say how long this went on for, as the intensity
built up, but it must have been around 1pm when I told Dash I felt like I might
be “working hard” and there was definitely a bit of a “pushy” feeling to my
contractions now. Again, we had started on the bed, me assuming the hands and
knees position and quickly losing my clothing, but had moved onto the carpet
with a stack of pillows to lean against on top of the improvised bed I had
whipped up for Ella in the corner just the day prior. Unlike with Ella’s birth,
where I would describe the contractions in these painful sort of ways
(Decepticon, hornets, etc) this time around I greeted each contraction with the
visualization and full acknowledgement that they were opening me up, which was just
what I wanted and needed in order to have this baby. J I think that helped a lot.
That, and Dash being a fantastic breathing coach to remind me to keep the
breaths long, deep, and connected like waves – raising up, cresting, and then
down again for the exhalation in one steady stream.
Ellie Rose arrived at around 2:40 pm and after witnessing
one contraction from me and Dash (we were really working as a team) deemed that
yes, that was hard work and so she set about getting things ready. During the
contractions, naturally I was concentrating hard and sometimes even moaning
“shit” or “fuck” because of the intensity, but once they let up – and oh how
nice it felt when they did, as I always accompanied them with a “goodbye
breath” – I was able to pop back into conversation again, asking questions
about why we needed so many receiving blankets, how the other birth she and
Lisa were tagteaming on was going, etc. I also requested to Dash that he remove
his shirt so that I could feel nice warm heat instead of scratchy fabric, which
he so nicely obliged me to.
While I was down on the carpet by Ella’s bed, Ellie Rose
came by to hear the baby’s heartbeat before during and after a contraction and
accidentally knocked over the spider plant I had (precariously) set up right
before the window on a pedestal. That prompted me to go onto the bed so that
Dash could vacuum up the soil mess, and the bed is actually where the rest of
the labor took place. While Dash vacuumed, Ellie Rose helped me through the
next contraction, which actually felt like two in a row without a break, but
she was excellent and her usually chilly hands were nice and hot on the small
of my back.
Once on the bed, the pushy contractions definitely ramped up
in general, until I actually succeeded in breaking my own water bag! It was
4:00pm on the dot. This is a big deal for me, because with Ella Rose I was so
much more uptight and nervous about pushing in general, that I had the midwives
pop it for me artificially. Boy, that warm gush of water felt sooooo good
leaving the body, and all the little leftovers I kept pumping out with ensuing
contractions. As I had mentioned before, on the bed I had like two contractions
in a row without a break, and this was a sign that I had a lot of pressure
built up, so once the bag broke, the wave-like nature of the labor returned.
Hurray for that! I should also mention that Rachel, the third midwife of the
practice whom I had only met twice, came because Lisa was so busy with the
other birth. I recall that Ellie had summoned her while I was down on the
carpet with a quick “back pressure” or something akin to that – no “Hey, this
is Ellie, you should get hear soon”. Such was the communication between the
midwives I noticed. Very intuitive, silent, and succinct.
After the water broke, I was all push then and still somehow
able to communicate little messages between contractions. I recall at some
point saying that I thought I might like to birth the baby in the
hands-and-knees position I was in. I also let them know that if they were
interested in offering me to feel the baby’s head with my hand on its way out,
they could scratch that because I had no intention of doing that whatsoever. In
general, I reiterated a few times how much I was looking forward to this being
over so that I could eat and all the things I would be able to do in general:
wear the baby on me in a Moby, sleep on my back, dance, etc. Dash was also so
great at listening to my requests. From asking him to remove his shirt early on
so that I could feel his warm skin against me instead of his t-shirt, to
promising he wouldn’t smack his lips if he stole sips of my Jamba Juice (I
think he went back on his word with that one, though ;) ) Oh! I should mention
that while I was still down on the carpet earlier on, Ellie Rose stepped out of
the room for something and then came back with a tray of three fruit smoothies
from Jamba Juice. Apparently, Kim had stopped by with them for me! How
thoughtful and delicious! Ella and Douzen ended up stealing two of them, but
that was all fine and good because they were a tasty treat that kep them happy
and occupied elsewhere. I stuck with my orange smoothie. YUM!
I would like to mention here that the pushing I did from
this point on had a pretty regular pattern. The contractions would start to
rise up from the depths of my body and I would gingerly push with them, then
the crest of the pushy contractions would draw out this amazingly fulfilling
“taking a huge dump on the john” kind of whole body experience that would
actually get me moaning out “YEEEEAAAAAH…” and obviously my body was doing
something right because I would always get these murmurs of approval from the
midwives that that was perfect. All in all, I felt more coherent than the first
time, so I think when that first one happened I even piped in “wow, when I say
‘yeah’ that means it’s a really deep push”. Though I enjoyed the real intense
pushes, I would still get wimpy at the end and contentiously let the last two
or so potential pushing contractions go by without exerting myself just because
I wanted to go slow and not overdo it.
Oh! Kathy came at some point during this time too. I had my
face pretty buried in my stack of pillows but was able to acknowledge her
presence at least to some degree (big accomplishment all things considered).
She was in and out of the room, going between watching Ella and video taping
the birth. Just the perfect blend. Ella Rose was also in and out, and at one
point even got some gloves on and told Ellie Rose she would like to help. She
also started to strip off her clothes, I assume because she thought that birth
is something you do without clothes seeing as how I was naked and Dash was
shirtless. I recall a few funny comments from her like “hehe, it looks like she’s
peeing” whenever I would push my amniotic fluid out. And I believe she was
talking about blood coming out of me (she’s pretty matter-of-fact about blood
these days). Ella eventually disappeared and that was all fine by me, which is
good because I had been rather concerned about how I really wanted Ella there
but not necessarily force her but what if she felt traumatized, etc etc. I was
also waffling between feeling very warm and chilly cold so I asked Dash to redo
my ponytail a couple times and would also have a blanket put on me. Oh,
hormones. They do such funny surprising things. This I also do not recall
happening at Ella’s birth.
Anyway, so I eventually moved from my hands-and-knees
position onto my left side because my arms were getting tired. So what do you
know! Same position I took for pushing out Ella. Because that is how I stayed
for the remainder of the labor. Though it felt a lot shorter, from the time my
water broke to William’s departure, it was 1 hour and 18 minutes. Boy, how the
time flies and how easy it is to regress into one’s self. I suppose it took as
long as it did because I greeted each contraction in the same way. So, as you
may know, contractions come in a bell curve kind of pattern: light at the
beginning, heavy in the middle, then they peter out again. Rather than call it
one “contraction”, it really feels more like a “set of contractions”. And I
typically greeted them with “Here comes another one” to alert Dash that I would
need more attention from him and to alert the midwives that I would need my leg
lifted. Then the first contraction (of the set) I would gingerly push but not
necessarily feel gripped by the push…then with the heavy in the middle
contraction I would become gripped by the contraction, moan low and loud and
really exert pressure down and out. Then the light contraction(s?) would take
over, and I’d typically let them slide. I think mainly because I felt I needed
the break and also because I was a little afraid that they’d take me over too
and perhaps I’d pop something (in my face, I think I recall expressing some
concern about, heh). Speaking of things popping, I recall Dash giving the
midwives this bottle of almond oil I was really thinking I’d like applied in
the hopes that it would prevent tearing, but though they said they would do so
as soon as I gave the word, I guess it slipped my mind, because it was never
applied, which is fine seeing as how I ended up pushing it out, I doubt it
would have made much of a difference anyway (see below). What Ellie Rose did
do, though, was apply some counter pressure to my perineum with a washcloth
soaked in very hot water – actually it was Kathy’s job to get the water hot and
she was having a hard time about it, making it only lukewarm and not hot enough
to their liking. Either way, all I could feel was the pressure and the texture
of the washcloth against what felt more like my anus, so go figure.
Anyway, back to pushing. It didn’t feel like that many
pushes before I had a great long push in which I felt the baby’s head sorta go
“clunk!” into a whole new lower region of my body. And the moment the
contraction let up I told the midwives “wow, that one moved it (the baby)
really low, didn’t it?” They agreed, and I believe that with the next couple of
contraction pushes they would then say “oh, we can see this much of the head”
(size of dime shown with their fingers) and then “now we can see this much of
his head” (size of a quarter). It was encouraging but I recall having the
concrete thought of “man, I wish it was more!”
So with the next push, I not only let the heavy contraction
take me over but I didn’t let up with the petering out ones and I felt him
barreling out of me! I think the midwives were a little caught off guard too,
maybe, because this was not how I had been handling my previous contractions
and he went from relatively still deep in me, to POP! His head is out. I
distinctly remember the sensation of his facial features passing through me:
his nose and chin and all that – bump bump bump! And there he was for little
while between contractions, just his head. I heard them suctioning his mouth
which had not been done with Ella and there wasn’t that automatic crying so I
asked why I couldn’t hear my baby crying. But I think Kathy reassured me that
he was all good. And then I pushed again and his upper body came out, but only
up to his belly. So I asked if I could/should keep pushing and Ellie Rose said
if I felt like it. And boy did I because I was thinking “come ON! Just get all
of you out!” So one more push and pop! He was out!!
They immediately slid him under my leg up to my torso so he
lay beside me and it was on his way over that both Dash and I saw between his
legs his bright red swollen ball sac and we both said “it’s a boy!” and then
all I could say for a while there was “I love you, oh I love you…!” All that
previous trepidation about having a boy just POOF vanished and I was
automatically so happy that he was who he was and how he was. His cry was also
deeper and louder than Ella’s which made me comment “wow, he even sounds like a
boy”. Ella was ushered in my Kathy shortly after and her first comment was “I
want to see his cord” which was rather obscured by the fact that the placenta was
no yet quite out and I wanted to keep him close for warmth rather than move him
aside. Either way, she then announced she was going to go find some new shoes
for the baby and that was the last I saw of her until later that evening
because she somewhat promptly fell asleep out in the living room along with
Douzen.
Back to William, he was so nice and hot and very very slick,
his black hair all plastered to his head. And his face! Wow, it was pretty
puffy and grayish purple and that’s when I knew that this had been a big baby.
Within seconds I figured I’d offer the nipple and wow! He latched on right
away, to the surprise of the midwives too. He was automatically given the
“nursing champ” title, heh. It was so interesting how since the time that the
labor had gotten heavy, I hadn’t really been able to open my eyes or speak
above a gaspy whisper, and the MOMENT he came out, my eyes popped open and I
was alert and energized and just bursting with happiness. I felt so
accomplished!! All that was left was the delivery of the placenta, and
inspection of my vagina to check for tears. The way I did not “rock” him out as
I had Ella, I had an inkling I would need some kind of stitching, but man I did
not CARE!
I don’t think it was too long after his delivery that I asked
about the suctioning and Rachel explained how she had seen some meconium-tinged
amniotic fluid toward the end there and so she wanted to be extra sure that he
didn’t inhale any since she had seen “meconium aspiration before and it is not
a pretty thing”. So it was more out of precaution than anything, and the way
his heartbeat had been so regular throughout the labor, it was unlikely that he
had been in any real “distress”. Maybe he was just ready to get poopin’,
because that’s just what he did a couple more times that evening during the
examination and whatnot.
It wasn’t too long before Kae and Douzen came in and got to
meet little William and I was just on Cloud 9 and telling her how it was a boy
just as all those Spaniards had predicted! Ha! I was still toward the edge of
the bed and they kept a steady stream of oven-warmed receiving blankets on the
both of us which was so pleasant! Then I had to deliver the placenta, about 10
minutes after he had been born (?). It was far easier due to the lack of bones
but still pretty large and to get all the parts (membranes, etc) out I had to
cough just to really get them on their way out. But all in all, it was an
uneventful passing of the placenta and I loved how Ellie Rose announced that I
had delivered the baby and the placenta and now I was done! Dash then cut the
cord and I think it was after the passing of the placenta that Lisa showed up!
So I had all three midwives for a little while, before Rachel was the first to
excuse herself. But not before I had had a nice conversation with them about
the names of their children and thanked her profusely for her wonderful help
and expressed my gratitude that it was she who was there for the birth despite
having never had her at a prenatal visit. How funny, it turned out a bit like
Ella’s birth in that the “head midwife” with whom I mostly met was not
necessarily present for the birth itself. Ha!
Shortly after that, I moved up to a semi-seated position
propped up by pillows against the wall where I remained while they explained
the placenta to me (it was healthy and its size was a sign that it had fed a
large baby), did his measurements, examination, and checked me for tearing.
Indeed, I needed all of ONE stitch! Since Ellie Rose had not done so many of
these, Lisa walked her through it while Kathy and the others tried to distract
me with conversations about this that and the other thing. Not even the
injection of local anesthetic hurt that much and soon she was all done. How
nice that unlike with Ella’s birth, I never had to necessarily get up and
shower or anything so I never missed a thing! Seishirou showed up around 7:30
(maybe?) and got to meet little William too and then the midwives left around
8:40 (where did the time go??) and then it was just us.
Of course, the midwives didn’t leave without first
emphasizing the importance that I rest up and be given very generous bed rest
for at least the remainder of the week. It was hard to wrap my head around, but
with Kathy here I knew that it’d be easier to indulge as she could do little
errands/chores and mainly watch Ella. When Ella eventually awoke, she came to
say hi to the baby and then dinner that night was a little unceremonious as
Dash just made some rice, heated up some curry Kae had brought, and I ate it
out of a bowl on the bed with just me and William. Going to sleep that night
also proved a little trying at first, as Ella didn’t want to sleep and then
didn’t want to sleep with my back turned to her and even said she wanted the
baby outside. Gulp! But thankfully she eventually fell asleep and remained so
even when William woke up with mewls of needing this or that. It’s also
interesting how unlike with Ella’s birth, the midwives didn’t emphasize putting
a hat on his head nor a diaper on his bum. And so he remained for the first
three days – just a cloth diaper positioned under him, but other than that,
completely naked against my naked torso and only covered with blankets so that
he was receiving warmth from me and having it kept in with the blankets.
It’s interesting how for being such a huge event, the order
of events could start to get mixed up in a matter of mere days. For example, I
described Rachel leaving, then me moving up to a propped up position, and then
receiving an explanation of the placenta…though that was done by Rachel. So I
guess I don’t really remember when she left in relation to those other things.
And the midwives did at least a load of laundry, which was so kind of them!
Let’s see, things that happened after the birth that are
noteworthy…
-
in just a couple of hours after his birth,
William started to give a clear pattern of cry-then-void that I am looking to
take more advantage of (today is only 4/20, the day I had been HOPING he’d be
born, oh well) to get some early E.C. going on.
-
It was in the middle of the night following his
birth, that Dash and I were up with William and decided to solidify his entire
full name: William Leon Dashiell. Though we won’t be using an accent mark, the
Leon is meant to be pronounced León. The day after that I was already
experiencing some doubts about it though thanks to poor/ugly pronunciations
making it sound more like “LEE-on” and even mom commenting on how nobody will
know to pronounce it the Spanish way and even trying to do so is strange
because William is not a Spanish name. Thanks mom, ugh! >_< I like it
because it’s another noun-name, like Ella’s middle name, and all together
“William Leon” means “the guardian lion” which is visually very nice. Plus, his
initial cries were kind of like roars of a lion. Ha!
-
His first guest was Brooke the evening
following, who came with homemade spring rolls and with whom I got to go over
the entire birth blow-by-blow. Her visit was quickly followed by Jamie, Dave,
and Annika’s with burritos! So nice!!
-
In the middle of Tuesday night, my milk came in
and my boobs ballooned up so that’s even faster than with Ella. So much for
always having thought that my milk came in so fast on account of eating the
placenta (it is still sitting in the freezer, waiting to be prepared)
-
On Wednesday, he had his last meconium-colored
non-breastmilk-only BM, which Kathy and I attended to. After messing in his
diaper, he then shot out more thanks to Kathy pushing his legs onto his abdomen
and she had to jump aside to avoid getting hit which made me laaaaaaugh until I
peed right through my pad and onto the carpet. Oy ve, this carpet’s been
getting more action than it ever has in one mere week. Ha!
